CRISIS!!

CRISIS!!!

They say that nice guys finish last but that depends upon what you’re racing for. If your life goal is to be a good person then by being nice you’ll probably finish pretty close to the front. If your goal is sex with hordes of hotties I’d probably try a different tactic because nobody gets really excited by monogamy and trust, at least not in the DVDs I’ve seen.

YourEyesLie don’t mind you sniffing around other labels. Court All Saints, have a dalliance with American Apparel and sleep with Diesel. We don’t care because we know that when it comes down to it we’re the only marriage material, working damn hard to keep it fresh and giving you love through both the good and the bad times: It’s us you’ll come home to. We aren’t bothered if you’re grumpy and have bad skin, aren’t fazed that you’ve accrued 700 Facebook friends you social whore/computer geek, and we certainly aren’t perturbed by the fact you’ve got no money because at YourEyesLie we love you for you.

But this love must be reciprocated. We need your love now more than ever, because we’re showing all the signs of a mid-life crisis.

We’ve just traded in the ugly and lethargic old website for a new model; smooth, slick and boasting terrific lines- we’re very proud of her although she is very demanding, requiring Cartier diamonds and dinner at The Ivy on an alarmingly regular basis. Yep, she displays all the hallmarks of fastidiousness but there is a way you can help us to help her, as her favourite meal is actually humble Paypal on toast: you can feed her on the website (www.youreyeslie.com), but please don’t tell her she’s a golddigger.


They lament that faith is on the wane, our Christian morality being replaced by silly fashions and lust fuelled passions, and they’re probably right. But isn’t Nurave just part of God’s bigger plan? We all hope so.	Though John Steinbeck may be no more the tradition of spinning gold from the dusts of depression continues as YEL introduces this grizzly little number. Now, doesn’t it feel good to be alive!	Everybody knows she has three eyes but what is lesser known is that she also has a pair of ripe pink cherries suspended from her nostrils that require an entire army of taxpayer financed photoshoppers to keep under wraps.

While knife crime is now largely a harmless relic of the past nooses continue to strike terror into the minds of Middle England, and at YEL we thought we had to help. Therefore we pledge support to the Daily Mail’s fictional ‘No noose is good noose’ campaign and will give every penny sold from this shirt towards helping a small independent clothing label survive the economic downturn.	It’s actually our world and our style but you can steal our idea and pass it off as your own by buying this T-shirt.	Thomas Hardy wrote books and lived in the countryside. We design t-shirts and live in the city. But a thick moustache and a few leaves in your hair is a good way to live wherever or whoever you are.

Of course our crisis wouldn’t be complete without a new hobby and we’ve fulfilled this part of the criteria by opening a shiny new womenswear concession in Topshop Oxford Circus. Please come and check us out on level SB2.

And while Obama might have it all under control we’ve been behaving erratically, ditching our white only policy and celebrating multi-colourism by introducing a cool mint and nutritious aubergine into our SS09 range. Colours so tasty you could eat them.

We’ve admitted it, okay, we’re having a crisis but please, don’t try and change us. Love us for us the way we love you for you.